When was the last time anyone was excited about seeing a Nigerian movie?
who here can pay 1500 Naira to watch a Nigerian movie at the cinemas?
Has there ever been box office hit in Nigeria?
how about summer blockbusters? never heard of those in Nigeria...
why can't they make movies about great people/ events like FELA, WOLE SOYINKA, YEMI TELLA, NIGER DELTA CRISIS and the likes of em... why make movies about LOVE LOVE LOVE
Still we claim to be the 3rd largest in the world..PLEASE!!!!!!!!! let's call a spade a spade
25 Rules all Nollywood movies must Follow
1. Every problem you have is spiritual.
2. In every romance movie, someone must die.
3. It is possible to hit a person without actually touching them!
4. Anyone who gets hit by a car dies immediately.
5. Poisoned food always tastes better.
6. The best way to make money is by visiting a babalawo/joining a cult/sleeping with rich men.
7. One of a pair of twins (identical or not) is born evil.
8. There is never an end to your suffering, except death!
9. With a pastor, all things are possible.
10. A movie can be titled anything such as:
*The boy is mine, The girl is yours, The child is theirs
* Face me, I face you
* Kill me,I kill you,
* Two cockroaches in Africa
*Two rats,
*Spanner,
*Calculator,
*Computer
*The Driver
*Igala,
*Ijele,
*Olodo,
*Mumu,
*Wawa,
*Igodo,
*Igudu
*Shigidi
*Wakadugu
11. A movie has not been made if at least one actor/actress has not twisted his/her lips to speak wrong phonetics.
12.. You are in love. You want to take your girl out and the best place you take her to is:
*Mr. Biggs/Tantalizers: where you'll most probably see an ex while feeding each other.
*The beach: where it is imperative that you ride a donkey and carry her playfully.
*Or the best: take her to buy some new ugly clothes.
13. An Igbo movie has been made if
* You visit a babalawo
* A fleet of cars is shown off at regular intervals for a total of half of the movie time.
* Kanayo O Kanayo is in the movie. Pete Udochie is also there too!
* To get rich it is mandatory you join a cult
14. Gun shots and knock-outs sound the same!
15. Sometimes the title has absolutely nothing to do with the movie and other times, once you read the
title and see the poster you know it all!!! (Also the soundtrack gives you a headache because it just
narrates the whole story repeatedly - so much for suspense and intrigue!)
16. A love story has not been produced if it does not have one or two of the following actresses-
* Stella Damasus
* Stephanie Okereke
* Genevieve Nnaji
* Omotola Jalade
* Rita Dominic
17. The police are extremely 'efficient' unlike their counterparts in real life.
18. An actress can wear the same hairdo for more than 3 years and even in longer flashbacks.
19. It is permissible to wear very dark shades at night!
20. When you are shot in the chest, it really doesn't matter; your head will be bandaged! Same for your legs!
21. When advertising a movie, you really should shout because... people are deaf?
22. When you are extremely poor, you will still be able to afford- very good furniture, T.V., but you won't be able to send your kids to school.
23. Most especially in Yoruba movies, your gateman must be inefficient and comical. He MUST dress like a
freak, be rude to all your visitors and never mind his business.
24.the bad guy always dies or gets caught by none other than the police- LOL!!!!
25. At the end of a three hour movie you'll be reminded that THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING...WATCH OUT FOR PART 2!
This group was created for youths to constructively critcize the Nigerian movie industry because the youths revoultionized the Nigerian music industry which is now credible ... i think its time we do that to our movie industry
we can't seat back and let these "scavengers" destroy our Heritage...invite your friends, let's unite and change our movie industry.. the power is in your hands
WE MUST TAKE A STAND!!!!!!
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=26322603475
who here can pay 1500 Naira to watch a Nigerian movie at the cinemas?
Has there ever been box office hit in Nigeria?
how about summer blockbusters? never heard of those in Nigeria...
why can't they make movies about great people/ events like FELA, WOLE SOYINKA, YEMI TELLA, NIGER DELTA CRISIS and the likes of em... why make movies about LOVE LOVE LOVE
Still we claim to be the 3rd largest in the world..PLEASE!!!!!!!!! let's call a spade a spade
25 Rules all Nollywood movies must Follow
1. Every problem you have is spiritual.
2. In every romance movie, someone must die.
3. It is possible to hit a person without actually touching them!
4. Anyone who gets hit by a car dies immediately.
5. Poisoned food always tastes better.
6. The best way to make money is by visiting a babalawo/joining a cult/sleeping with rich men.
7. One of a pair of twins (identical or not) is born evil.
8. There is never an end to your suffering, except death!
9. With a pastor, all things are possible.
10. A movie can be titled anything such as:
*The boy is mine, The girl is yours, The child is theirs
* Face me, I face you
* Kill me,I kill you,
* Two cockroaches in Africa
*Two rats,
*Spanner,
*Calculator,
*Computer
*The Driver
*Igala,
*Ijele,
*Olodo,
*Mumu,
*Wawa,
*Igodo,
*Igudu
*Shigidi
*Wakadugu
11. A movie has not been made if at least one actor/actress has not twisted his/her lips to speak wrong phonetics.
12.. You are in love. You want to take your girl out and the best place you take her to is:
*Mr. Biggs/Tantalizers: where you'll most probably see an ex while feeding each other.
*The beach: where it is imperative that you ride a donkey and carry her playfully.
*Or the best: take her to buy some new ugly clothes.
13. An Igbo movie has been made if
* You visit a babalawo
* A fleet of cars is shown off at regular intervals for a total of half of the movie time.
* Kanayo O Kanayo is in the movie. Pete Udochie is also there too!
* To get rich it is mandatory you join a cult
14. Gun shots and knock-outs sound the same!
15. Sometimes the title has absolutely nothing to do with the movie and other times, once you read the
title and see the poster you know it all!!! (Also the soundtrack gives you a headache because it just
narrates the whole story repeatedly - so much for suspense and intrigue!)
16. A love story has not been produced if it does not have one or two of the following actresses-
* Stella Damasus
* Stephanie Okereke
* Genevieve Nnaji
* Omotola Jalade
* Rita Dominic
17. The police are extremely 'efficient' unlike their counterparts in real life.
18. An actress can wear the same hairdo for more than 3 years and even in longer flashbacks.
19. It is permissible to wear very dark shades at night!
20. When you are shot in the chest, it really doesn't matter; your head will be bandaged! Same for your legs!
21. When advertising a movie, you really should shout because... people are deaf?
22. When you are extremely poor, you will still be able to afford- very good furniture, T.V., but you won't be able to send your kids to school.
23. Most especially in Yoruba movies, your gateman must be inefficient and comical. He MUST dress like a
freak, be rude to all your visitors and never mind his business.
24.the bad guy always dies or gets caught by none other than the police- LOL!!!!
25. At the end of a three hour movie you'll be reminded that THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING...WATCH OUT FOR PART 2!
This group was created for youths to constructively critcize the Nigerian movie industry because the youths revoultionized the Nigerian music industry which is now credible ... i think its time we do that to our movie industry
we can't seat back and let these "scavengers" destroy our Heritage...invite your friends, let's unite and change our movie industry.. the power is in your hands
WE MUST TAKE A STAND!!!!!!
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=26322603475
Join pls...It is an amzing group
PS: I LOVE JENIFA!!
PS: I LOVE JENIFA!!
way to go jo!!!i totally agree,we haven't attacked those hideous souundtracks(which include whole Westlife albums)yet!!!
ReplyDeleteWhile i agree that Nigerian movies are not your best bet, you can't rule all of them out. It's funny how you don't appreciate what's right at your doorstep, simply cuz it's there. We're the third largest filmindustry because of our market. People in other countries love our movies, except us. You should see how much people make off your movies abroad, and all of y'all be there dissing.
ReplyDeleteAgreed we have wack storylines a lot of times, some of the really unoriginal and really UN-Nigerian. But look at movies that really potray Nigeria like Jenifa and all the rest. Don't hate okay. My Nigerian movies are part of the things that keep me going here, cuz they make me feel close to home.
awww...I agree with u but we cannot also deny dat 80 percent of our movies dont make sense...I think that is why d group was set up..2 cause a cahnge in a industry dat has potential
ReplyDelete