Monday, June 8, 2009


OK, so things have been major crazy lately. There has been so much going on and too much drama; from family to friends to academics to dreams. Something is just not right. I can feel it in my bones. Something is missing and honestly, I am TIRED!!! Tired of showing off the fake smiles, tired of acting all ‘spiritual’ when I am empty and longing for something more, tired of acting like I have the answer when I have a dozen of questions. Honestly, I am tired. Tired of my friends (forgive me guys, it’s just how I feel; still love you guys), tired of knowing that after the music stops, after all the hype, there is reality to face. I AM TIRED!!!
Justify Full
So the deal is I really need to get away. According to Mr Tobymac, ‘I need a getaway car’. I need to go someplace far away maybe for reflection, maybe to just chill out and relax, maybe to a place where nothing is familiar. Maybe I should experiment with different things; maybe I should meet new people, maybe... just maybe. One thing is for sure thought, I need to get away.
I am confused and I am sorry if it sounds old and you have a problem with it but it is the truth. I need help. I am at a double crossroads and my life just keeps spinning and I am just dizzy! Too dizzy to move, too dizzy to think straight, too dizzy to be un-dizzy.

I have gone through the motions and honestly I think I will just be still. Before the getaway car comes, before meeting the new people phase and experimentation phase; I guess I will just be still. I’ll just wait because I can’t do this any more. There is so much a guy can take.

So YHWH, even though I am confused and I have no clue what I want. I need You to step in. It is either You get me that getaway car or You better fix it because You said You will not fail me or give up on me or leave me without support. You told me You won’t leave me bereaved or forlorn and that You would hold me up. Come on! You are supposed to be my very present help in time of need. SO HELP ME OR GET ME THAT GETAWAY CAR!!!!!!!!


PS: Whatever You decide to do is cool with me. You know best.

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Oya you sef talk ya own!!!