Tired of Invisible

I feel invisible.

Before I go on, I want to say that I am not depressed neither am I slipping into depression. I just want to talk. So I am going to say a few things. It may make sense. It may sound like gibberish but it is what it is.

Have you ever felt like life is happening and you are not doing what you are supposed to be doing? Ever felt like you have done it all; read the right books, put up affirmations on your bathroom mirror and prayed all the prayers necessary and still things don't change. Are you at that point were you just want to live your dreams but its like someone is doing that for you already? Its like you are doing all the "right" things but it seems they are not enough.

That's how I feel.

Its like I have this dream and I believe in it so bad. So I decide to live this dream. I do all that needs to be done and still there is no difference. Its like I am running this race and there is a huge wall in front of me that I can't seem to break or jump over so what I want to do is just sit with my back against the wall and wait; because I am tired. So here I am in the city of dreams, while everyone is getting theirs I am walking around, invisible.

A few months ago, I was online downloading random videos and I came across a song. It is by Lemonade Mouth. (Lemonade Mouth is a book that was turned into a Disney Channel Original Movie about a band called Lemonade Mouth). When I saw the video, I didn't know anything about the book band or movie and as at now I have not seen d movie or read the book. But the song I heard, was awesome. It was like the writer of the song knew exactly how I was feeling. How its like I am here, trying to be all I want to be but somehow I am still invisible, left with the feeling of an under achiever. The awesome thing about the song is how it expresses another part of me. A part that is saying even though its like I am invisible and insignificant, if I push harder and try again, my dreams will actually be my reality.

If you are out there feeling insignificant and invisible, I want to encourage you. The worst thing you can do to yourself is having the mindset that you cannot make a difference and that your dreams are "wishful thinking". The truth is simple "A dream is a wish your heart makes" and trust me "Dreams come true"

I still have low times. Times when I feel like the world is choking me and I want to let go. Just today, I thought about quitting Yada Magazine to chase other dreams. I am encouraged knowing that maybe if I can hold on a little longer and try a bit harder I can be all that I want to be more. Truth is we were meant to be Somebody... somehow it is going to happen... somewhere it will happen... Someday it will happen. All we have to do is wait.

He has promised. It will happen.

Here are the lyrics to the Lemonade Mouth song. Hope it blesses you as it blessed me.

Lemonade Mouth- Somebody

Can you see me
Cause I'm right here
Can you listen?
Cause I've been trying to make you notice
What it would mean to me
to feel like somebody
We've been on our way to nowhere
Tried so hard to get there

And I say Oh!
We're gonna let it show
We're gonna just let go of everything
Holding back our dreams
And try,
to make it come alive
Come on let it shine so they can see
We were meant to be,
Somebody (somebody), somebody yeah
Somehow, Someday, Someway
Someday!

I'm so tired
of being invisible
but I feel it, yeah!
Like a fire below the surface
trying to set me free
But inside of me
Cause we're standing on the edge now
it's a long way down

And I say Oh!
We're gonna let it show }
We're gonna just let go of everything
Holding back our dreams
And try,
to make it come alive
Come on let it shine so they can see
We were meant to be,
Somebody (somebody), somebody yeah
Somehow, Someday, Someway
Someday!

We will walk out of this darkness
feel the spot light glowing like a yellow sun,
oooohhhhh
and then we fall, we fall together
till we get back up and we will rise as one
oooohhhhh

Oh! we're gonna let it show
we're gonna just let go of everything
holding back our dreams
and try
to make it come alive
come on let it shine so they can see
we were meant to be somebody
somebody somebody Yeah somehow someday someway
somebody somebody..
Ooo oh

Till my next post,

I remain, The Talkaholic
www.yadamag.com
@BaldBlackBoy

Image from singlemom-nicole.blogspot.com

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