WHERE MY FRIENDS AT???

If I am the only one that gets like this then forgive me. Maybe it’s just how I am wired... i sincerely have no clue but this is the deal... I am feel my friends and i are drifting apart. I know it sounds strange but i have been feeling like that lately. I know my friends care for me and have my best interest at heart but at the same time... that is not enough. I cannot help but feel like they are doing what they do so that at least it will go down in the books that during so so and so period, they actually helped out. Besides, just because someone does stuff for you doesn’t mean they can’t turn around and hurt you. Trust me, i am speaking from experience.

Have you ever wondered why in movies and television shows, the protagonist is often surrounded with friend(s) that will do ANYTHING for him/her (Confessions of a Shopaholic, Hairspray, Mamma Mia, Not Easily Broken, Picture This, The Brothers, The Other End Of The Line, Why Did I Get Married... the list goes on) or why do we find this group of friends who are tight and will go through their problems together (California Dreams, Friends, PS I Love You, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, The Cheetah Girls, That’s so Raven... the list still goes on). I don’t know if anyone still feels me. Those friends who make you feel important once in a while, the friends that will actually let you solve their problems for them, the friends that will tell you everything and you can tell them anything... you know the ones who will laugh with you, cry with you, do crazy things with you, the friend that will correct my actions in love, the friend that will not try to out-smart me, the friend that will not make me look stupid, the one that will know when i am joking or when i am serious... are you still with me?

I try honestly to enjoy my friendships and i try so hard to preserve them but it seems my efforts most times are in vain. I even decided at one point to try my best to understand people well so that i can get my attention of what was missing in my friendships. I felt that i was being selfish but really am i? I mean, during conversations they make statements that i never in a thousand years believed they could make or they do things that i don’t expect them to do. Don’t get me wrong, they don’t do bad things per se but they so little things hat just piss me off. The hard part is that considering the type of environment i am in, without the... fill in the blanks

I have a few people that i can say fit into this category and they are FEW. Most of them are not even my school so it gets hard. So many things i want to share i can’t. So many times i have been humiliated and belittled in the name of friendship. It even gets worse when your friends don’t even know when you are going through what you are going through. So i ask again... am i being selfish? I think about my friends a lot, long to see them, long to do things with them long to gist with them, long to share with them but they don’t do the same, i mean if they do we will not be typing this so...

I am asking where my friends at?? Where are y’all?? There is so much i need to tell you. So much has happened and i want to share. I want to be the one receiving advice, i have giving so much and i want someone to give me... things have happened so all my friends hola back!!!