Lesson learnt...

HOLA!!!

How are y’all doing this beautiful Monday? It is so good to be back as it has been a very long weekend…  So much work had to be done and I just thank God for his grace that was so sufficient…
I don’t have much to say today but I want to share what God revealed to me during the weekend. After the whole Jaiye incident and many more relationship stories, I have learnt one thing… no one can love you like God does. It might sound cliché but it is the truth. I mean, we search and search and search and in the end, we get disappointed. It makes me wonder if the search is worth it. The second thing I learnt is that do not enter a relationship without dealing with your insecurity issues. Know your worth in God's eyes, know how He sees you and understand that it is only in God you are complete.

There is a poem on Anani Speaks that clearly talks about this. Also, there is a word from Max Lucado at The Eden Project and there is an important information that YOU need to see at the Kiss and Tell blog. Special thanks to Good Naija Girl for. shouting me out on her blog. I consider it a rare privilege Also, to everyone who commented on the last post, thank you and God bless you load...

Have an amazing week...

Trotcha

Relationship Drama: Love Story gone bad!!!

OK... I need you to read this story and please comment when you are done.

There's this girl, lets call her Jaiye. She meets this guy when she is hanging out with her friends. She and the guy hit it off and they start talking on the phone regularly. The guy seemed like an amazing sensitive guy, only thing was she was older than him. They started a relationship irrespective of the age difference, I mean he was just 2 years younger than her... (Let us call the guy, Bayo).

Anyways, a week after they met they started going out and Jaiye was so happy. It felt like she had found the guy of her dreams. Something told her to be rational about the whole thing, I mean relationships are not things you rush into... you have to take your time and study but she felt there was something in Bayo...he was special... 

Their relationship went on and they started making out intensely... I mean clothes came off and all... The only thing was she wasn't ready to have sex just yet. The drama then started when Bayo tells her that he had sex with some girl who was a friend to Jaiye's best friend. He asked her for forgiveness and promised it won't happen again. They got over it and after that, Bayo changed. He became very insensitive to Jaiye's feelings, he never called her...she was always calling. He never visited her, she was the one always visiting him... I was like she was giving 100 and he was giving 20... He never told her he loved/liked her. He only did when they were making out..even the making out sessions were very irregular... Jaiye decided she had had enough and decided it was time to call it quits. Besides, she had heard gist from her friend that he was still sleeping with the other chic. She calls him and asks him if he is happy with her and that if he is not he should say so. She then asks if he was still sleeping with the other chic... he tells her yes and says that she forced himself on him a few times but it is not gonna happen again. He then re-asks her out and promises that this time he will try and make the relationship work. Jaiye agreed thinking that things were gonna get better....

Truth is, things went from bad to worse. He stopped talking to her and it was like he had built a wall around him. She tried to reach him, to draw close and it was like she was pushing him away... One day, she decides that it was time she ended the relationship. It was unhealthy and it was sucking everything away he from her. She then sends a note to him, telling him she can't deal with the drama anymore. With that, she takes herself on a mini vacation away from all the drama.

One week later, she arrives back and  she hears from two sources that her ex has been looking for her. She goes to see him and he tells her that why did she send him that note and he thought she was the older one. He then goes "Anyways, I am cool and happy with what you did. I wanted to break up with you but giving your long history of bad breakups, I did not want to be the one to break up. Bye"

It is like Jaiye was hit by a bus. The least he could have done was to ask her why and apologize, I mean he was a jerk... As I speak to you, Jaiye is slipping into depression mode...

So guys... what do you think? I have been trynna make excuses for the guy but I can't... Yes, they rushed into the relationship but really? Please drop your comments, suggestions, advice to Jaiye... I dunno... say something...

As for me... relationships=drama... I dunno if I am ready for that... Let her listen to Stacie Orrico's I am not missing you...

Trotcha!!!

Unhealthy Relationships

Before I start, I wanna thank EVERYBODY who reads my blog and drops comment. I really appreciate it, you don't know how I feel when I check my blog and I see the amazing comments you guys leave... I am gonna cry...(sniff)... ....lol

Anyways, to the subject of discussion. Unhealthy relationships. It could be between a guy and his girlfriend or vice versa. It could be between a child and his parents, it could be between siblings or it could be between friends. The funny thing is that the parties involved usually know they are in unhealthy relationships, so the knowing is not the hard part... The hard part is knowing when to walk away.

I was listening to Let it Go by Keyshia Cole and she said, If he ain't gonna love you, The way he should, Then let it go, If he ain't gonna treat you, The way he should, Then let it go... The song got me thinking, what if a married woman listens to this song, will she then file for a divorce because she wants to let it go?

Right now, I am trying to understand relationships and I am coming to a conclusion... It is too complicated!  Talk more of unhealthy relationships... most times we feel it is so easy to walk away from unhealthy relationships but is it? Feelings are not switches that we can just turn off and on at will. Most times they are strong that is what makes letting go so hard.

I don't even know what I am saying anymore. This relationship issue is so one kind... Have you ever been in an unhealthy relationship before? How where you able to let it go?

Now Playing: Stacie Orrico- I Promise

HE IS SO NOT MY TYPE

“He is So not my type!” She told me

“Sorry?” I asked looking at her in shock.

“Yea, Bolu (Not his real name), he is So So So not my type. I’d rather date a horse than date him” She said.

I looked at the girl speaking and I could not help giggling inside. I was tempted to say, “Look at who’s talking” but I knew better than that. The girl speaking was not a friend. She was just a girl I talk to in school. I could not believe she was saying that, but the truth is I do not blame her.

Honestly, there are times when we do the “He is not my type” or “She is not my type” but really have we stopped to check and say maybe, just maybe someone is saying the same thing about me.

I am not saying we should not have the things or specific qualities we look out for in a partner but “He is So not my type sounds... I do not know... wicked (if that is the word for it) and she had to add the she would rather date a horse line. Girls can be so MEAN!

Anyways, a man of God once said that if you are looking for the perfect husband/wife you should be the perfect wife/husband. In addition, someone who I consider wise once said we should treat every guy or girl we encounter in ways that will make them suitable husbands and wives for people. This way you are sowing a seed into your very own future. So I looked at the girl who'd rather date a horse than an actual human being and said "I bet he feels the same way too"

She was MAD! I have never seen anyone get angry the way she did that afternoon. She then tried to take me on a guilt trip (So typical). I mean the guilt trip works on 10 year olds. I am a young adult. Can't she see that? And she wants a perfect guy. I had so many things I wanted to tell her but I had to do the "Christian" thing. I had to let her know that no matter how bad you think someone is someone somewhere loves him or her just the way they are and that your opinion does not really count. He may not be the guy for you, fine, but he is someone else’s' dream guy. Maybe he is even the one God has destined for you to be with but you then lose him 'cause you couldn’t see the big picture so you then wind up with a loser with bad debt and a rotten personality.

The Bible makes us understand that as Christians we look at things we cannot see rather than the things we can see because the things we can see are temporal and the ones we can’t see are eternal, 2 Corinthians 4:18. The best gifts come in the worst packages. Jesus Christ in ALL HIS GLORY was born somewhere insignificant and put in a manger but he ended up saving the WHOLE WORLD from eternal damnation. Most people who were alive when He was born did not believe because they could not see the big picture.

SO LADIES: Realize that God has prepared someone special for you and he may not be the "perfect guy" of your dreams but he is the one God wants you to be with and please do not diss the ones He has prepared for someone else. Do not put them a lil bit lower than animals.

AND FELLAS: Realize that ladies are assets, God's own handiwork, beautifully and fearfully made. Respect them and love them. God has prepared someone for you too, so wait and ask God to show you who the person is. Also, do not put them down or make them feel worthless. I do not want some guy to determine the worth of my future wife.

So he/she may not be your type but they are most definitely someone’s'. Get it?

Till my next post...

I remain The Talkaholic

Trotcha!